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lizaroo
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Name: lizzo
Interests: Jesus. talking with just about anyone. sunshine. michigan football. singing. newspapers and magazines. taking pictures. my family. color. foodie-ism. writing. the detroit pistons. big bookstores. sociology and culture. breakfast restaurants. the beach. maps. wikipedia.
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Member Since:
11/10/2002
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| in sickness and in healthone of the unexpected consequences of working at an alzheimer's disease clinic is the appreciation that it's given me for marriage.
on one hand, it's given me a much deeper appreciation for what exactly this lifelong commitment entails. we see couples in the most unpleasant of circumstances: the couple who came in a few weeks ago, for example, where the wife is in her fifties and suffering from early onset alzheimer's. she forgets everything after a few minutes, can't do anything on her own, becomes extremely anxious when her husband isn't around -- to the point where i imagine that he has to be with her all the time, answering the same questions over and over again, making sure she doesn't wander off and get hurt. there's no cure or treatment for alzheimer's this severe, and unlike most cases, this woman's body is still in good shape since she's so young... so there's a chance that their lives could be like this for a decade or more. or consider the couple who came in a few months ago, where the husband's alzheimer's has progressed to the point where he's mute and incontinent and starting to become belligerent and aggressive. they've been married for 51 years, and she now has to take care of him in every sense imaginable. this is the stuff you don't often see in your twenties, when all you see of marriage is the perfectly printed wedding invitation on your fridge and happy couples running through parks in commercials for david's bridal. this is the real stuff that marriage is made of, the for-better-and-for-worse, the in-sickness-and-in-health. this is commitment -- not just when you're both young and attractive, not just when you still have your bodies and wits intact, but also when you're old and your bodies are giving out and your frontal cortices are deteriorating to the point where you can't put a coherent sentence together. for me, it has been a sobering picture of marriage, and it has impressed upon me a much deeper understanding of what commitment really is.
on the other hand, as natalie reminded me this morning, working here has also given me incredible faith in marriage. we see some beautiful stories, especially in the healthy research patients who serve as controls in our studies. natalie told me about the couple she interviewed last week, where the wife, beaming, declared that the man sitting next to her was her soul mate. to be able to say that after 50 years of marriage, after having children and mortgages and cross-country moves, after weathering the best and worst of life together -- that's mind-blowing! but even the clinical patients, the ones whose cognitive problems are glaringly obvious and stressful on their relationships -- they give me hope for marriage too. on more than one occasion, i have interviewed a couple and listened to their heartbreaking story -- progressive memory decline, loss of functioning, depression. but when i go through their history and ask how long they've been married, almost invariably, they turn to each other and share a little smile. sometimes it's the only smile i see during the entire interview. even in the midst of bleakness and despair, the distant memory of their wedding still brings them happiness, and their marriage is what sustains them.
i was reminded of this again this morning, when joe brought a patient to the lab for testing -- an adorable elderly gentleman with bushy eyebrows wearing a tan corduroy jacket with elbow patches. joe, making small talk, asked him if he lived on the beach, presumably based on the address he saw in the file. the man smiled and said, "i've done two things right in my life. fifty-four years ago, i married my wife. and forty years ago, i bought a house on the sand."
i almost cried when i heard that. i've always been a big sap, and i am all the more so now that i'm with a man i adore; and to hear things like this, from people who are easily in their 70s and 80s... it melts my heart. it gives me hope and faith in this whole marriage thing, in the crazy idea of tying yourself to one person for the rest of your life. | | |
| this week in eating: the best of pasadenaas i anticipate my parents' arrival on saturday (!), and as a person who is regularly thinking about where to eat, i've spent quite a bit of time lately contemplating my favorite restaurants in my little town. pasadena has more restaurants per capita than anywhere else in the world, so there's certainly a lot of places to consider; however, while the old town restaurants are usually the first to come to mind, i posit that the best ones are generally elsewhere. hence, i now present to you my 5 favorite restaurants in pasadena, along with 7 other staples that i love.
the best
la luna negra, green btw delacey and fair oaks
this is the one exception to the "best is not in old town" rule. the sweet rolls with olive tepenade served by this tapas restaurant would be enough to catapult it into the top 5. but add to that killer tapas -- for my birthday, robert and i got the apple and goat cheese salad, along with herb-encrusted pork tenderloins with caramelized onions and pomegranate seeds and a lovely spanish quiche, all incredible. and then add a space that is incredibly decorated (be sure to look up at the draping and lanterns hanging from the ceiling) and live flamenco every friday and saturday nights, and the combination throws this restaurant over the top. absolutely phenomenal.
elements kitchen, fair oaks and dayton (btw del mar and california)
christina was the first person to suggest this restaurant, and when we arrived, we found ourselves in a lovely, sunlit room that seated about 10 people, with tables for 12 more outside. elements is primarily a catering business that runs a restaurant on the side, and i am thankful for this fact, b/c there we had some of the best sandwiches i have ever eaten. we split an elements cheese steak -- made with marinated tri-tip, caramelized onions, green peppers, and garlic aoli on a baguette -- and a cuban pulled pork sandwich with sweet plantains, black bean hummus, and orange sauce. the sandwiches weren't cheap -- think zingerman's prices -- but they were worth every cent.
yahaira's cafe, colorado btw el molino and oak knoll
i'd passed this little mexican place many times on my way to the bank or metropolitan cafe before eric suggested that we try it. and then i went back two more times that week. why, you ask? two words: breakfast quesadilla. it will change your life. the cafe is a cute little space with a friendly owner who is always there. marston's gets all the (undeserved) hype for breakfast, but yahaira's is really the best breakfast place in pasadena.
green street restaurant, shoppers lane (btw lake and mentor) btw green and cordova
the menu appears ordinary -- creative american/californian -- but everything at this joint is good. their dianne salad, a deceptively simple mixture of lettuce, chicken, dried noodles, almonds, sesame seeds and magic dressing, is incredible. actually, all of their salads are great, and large enough for several meals. as are all of their quesadillas (try the mango and brie, or the basil and tomato)... and sandwiches... and entrees. and their giant ice-cream sandwich -- two huge, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies encasing vanilla ice cream -- is the perfect finish. it's impossible to go wrong here, and even though the prices are a little high for a grad school budget, the fact that you can get two (or three) meals out of each dish makes it worthwhile.
soumarelo, allen btw washington and mountain
hana was the first to recommend this place -- she'd read about it in the la times, which had declared that this mediterranean restaurant's rotisserie chicken was better than zankou's (shock!). lo and behold... the times didn't lie. the chicken is fabulous, as are their kebabs, and they come on plates with rice, pita, garlic sauce, and an appetizer and salad of your choice (not easy, given that there are about 10 choices each). the first time i went, the owner threw in free lentil soup for all... though that could have been because i was with 5 hot ladies. and you can wrap up your meal with ice cream -- 4 scoops for 99 cents. truly superb.
other places you must try
magnolia, lake btw del mar and california
this is my favorite happy hour in pasadena both for the fun, funky lounge atmosphere and the 40%-off food, which is unilaterally delicious. the french fry trio (steak, thin, and sweet potato with three sauces), the cheeseburger (with grilled onions... yum), the chicken salad sandwich, the turkey chili in a cornbread bowl, and the mac and cheese have all become familiar friends. other great happy hours: yardhouse (i've never ordered anything bad there, though i do get tired of their hh menu) and manny's (the best pizza you've ever had, half off every day from 4-7pm).
a'float sushi, colorado btw raymond and arroyo
pasadena is not a great place for ethnic food in general, but i'm a sucker for this sushi joint, where you can sit at the bar and pick your dishes as they float by on boats in a moat. a'float isn't cheap -- the dishes add up -- but the fish is top-notch, and the chefs, who are chinese, have been known to give free samples to their countrypeople. not that i know that personally or anything. more affordable, and still delicious, sushi can be found at sushi island and midori. totally overpriced: sushi roku.
saladang, fair oaks btw del mar and california
the other exception i make for ethnic food in pasadena is thai. saladang may be a little bit americanized, but it's hard to beat. check out the pad thai, the pad see ew, anything curry, and the barbecue duck. another great thai place: daisy mint on colorado east of lake, which may give saladang a run for its money.
zankou chicken, colorado btw chester and holliston
the original rotisserie chicken joint cannot be overlooked. their chicken, especially when coupled with pita and garlic sauce, is so good that i have to close my eyes when i consume it. incredible.
roscoe's chicken and waffles, lake btw orange grove and mountain
the idea of fried chicken with waffles was initially disgusting to me, but now that i've had it... i've converted. the fried chicken is literally perfect -- perfectly cooked, perfect batter-to-chicken ratio, no trace of grease (though i'm sure it's lurking there somewhere). the waffe is similarly crisp, with butter and syrup on the side. the crispiness of the chicken, coupled with the sweetness of the syrup, is an amazing combination. put down your preconceptions and try it.
pasadena sandwich company, sierra madre villa just north of foothill
try the "trust the cook", where the cook puts together whatever he feels like, and you get a triple-decker sandwich, usually hot on one layer and cold on the other, that could only have been created by a culinary magician. it's enough for two people, even if one of those people is a big dude. their potato salad is also fantastic.
taco truck, fair oaks btw del mar and california
the supposedly best taco truck in all of greater los angeles happens to be in our neck of the woods. make sure you're at the right truck -- there's another one slightly north, but you'll know this one by the giant santa claus sitting atop the antique shop next door. their tacos are the best $1.20 you could put in your mouth.
now i turn it over to you. where are your favorite places in pasadena? or where you live now? please share for the edification of the masses. | | |
| two stories... in honor of valentine's day, and some people that i love very dearly.
***
the way he tells it, my dad was a hot commodity in his day. he's a good-looking guy, and his family was relatively financially stable at a time when taiwan was dirt-poor. i'm not sure which was more important, but regardless, he apparently had many women interested in marrying him. (he tells of riding his motorcycle with the girlfriend of the moment hanging on in back -- an image that becomes funnier to me the older he and i get.) my grandmother, interested perhaps in further securing his future or in making sure he didn't end up with a gold digger, also tried to set him up with numerous single ladies from well-off families and would send him their pictures while he was away at school.
my father, however, had different ideas in mind. strongly influenced by the catholic missionaries who lived in his hometown, he had decided that he was going to become a priest. (never mind that he's buddhist -- he sees all religions as basically the same, so he could be catholic as easily as he is buddhist.) he would live a quiet, contemplative life, a life full of scholastic work and celibacy. this, he says, is what he told the girls who wanted to procure an engagement before he left for graduate school in the states; and this is what he told his mother as he set aside the pictures she sent.
he had stints at brigham young (the taiwanese FOB amidst a sea of lily-white mormons, whose church had permitted entry to non-whites a mere 8 years before his arrival) and princeton (where he claims he was chased by a mexican american girl and dissuaded from aggressive women by his mentor) before settling at wayne state in detroit, where he would finish his phd. the young, taiwanese grad student was devoted to his studies, mentally preparing for a life in the priesthood.
but then something funny happened: he met my mom.
... at a dumpling party, of all places. well, actually, he had seen her in the elevator before but thought that she was korean (beautiful, but near-impossible to communicate with). but then they showed up at the same dumpling party over thanksgiving of 1976, and lo and behold, pretty girl from the elevator was actually from taiwan.
i can't remember exactly how the relationship started, but all i know is that it centered around food. at one point he offered to cook for her... and it ended up taking him 2 hours. and there was something about them walking around campus once and happening upon a piano, and my dad played something for her (he was, and still is, quite the pianist), and she was impressed. i remember another story where he and his roommate wanted to cook dinner for the female friends from whom they mooched food relentlessly, and they invited my mom to help, and she ended up having to cook the entire meal. (she must've really liked him to continue hanging out with him after that.) but the gist of their dating relationship involved them eating together every night. they would go grocery shopping together, she would cook, and he would do the dishes. since he ate more, he paid 2/3 of the bill, and she paid 1/3. ("but i ate 3/4 of the food, so i got a good deal!" my dad exclaims with glee.)
my mom had apparently had her share of suitors in grad school, but my dad was the first one she could really talk with. and she liked that he played the piano. oh, and she was also impressed with his statistics prowess. what woman wouldn't be, really.
after 9 months of this eating-and-talking business, my mom started a post-doc at columbia. my dad drove her to new york, and she cried when he left, and when he got back he was lonely. "nothing tasted good anymore," he said. so one day, he ended up calling my mom and suggesting that perhaps they should get married.
"are you serious?" she said.
"yes," he said.
"okay," she replied.
and then the ball started rolling. she flew to taiwan over christmas break and met his mother, whom he had instructed to buy my mom a ring. my grandmother, peeved that her son had rejected countless young ladies of wealth that she had chosen, was convinced that my mom, being an unmarried phd student in her late twenties, must have been beaten with an ugly stick. but alas, my mom turned out to be lovely, so my grandmother changed her tune. when she introduced my mom to all of her friends, she bragged that this was her son's fiancee, a phd student, beautiful and smart. booyah, grandma.
when she returned to the states, my mom arranged to do her second year of post-doc in michigan, where my dad was still working on his phd. they got married in august of 1978, not long after she moved back to michigan, less than 2 years after they met. and that's the story of how my dad didn't become a priest.
***
it was the friday of our first week in orvieto, the fourth day of our class. the twenty-five of us fuller students, along with our lecturer and professor, boarded a little bus to siena, where we would be spending the day. i took a window seat on the left side, and not long after, a tall blond fellow asked if he could sit next to me.
"i'd want to sit there," he said contritely, gesturing to the seat next to our professor, "but i need to finish the homework." i smiled.
poor guy didn't get any of his homework done on the bus. we ended up talking the whole hour-plus way there, a bit while we were there, and then the whole way back. at some point in the conversation, he mentioned that he was half-seriously contemplating becoming a priest. he certainly had the aura of one -- calm, centered, present -- though he also admitted that it was partly because he hadn't really met anyone he was interested in dating since this thought had first entered his mind.
a month later, after two more long bus rides, four long late-night walks (including one where we got to see fireworks), and two weeks of wondering if our chemistry in italy (the most romantic place on earth) would translate in los angeles (a decidedly less romantic place), this boy expressed interest in dating me.
"what about you wanting to be a priest?" i asked.
"i'm not serious about that," he said.
"okay," i said.
and that's the story of how robert's halfhearted aspirations to the priesthood ended.
***
the moral of these stories: if you're thinking about becoming a priest, stay far away from the women in my family. i don't know if this phenomenon is romantic or blasphemous, but one way or another, consider yourself warned. happy valentine's day. :) | | |
| * gasp *greektown casino evicts sweet georgia brown
this is a tragedy. not just because it was my favorite restaurant in detroit. not just because this marks the end of the fried lobster tails, crab cakes, sweet potato fries, maple-walnut butter, and heavenly peach cobbler with peach ice cream that i had the privilege of enjoying once every few years, when there was an occasion big enough to warrant a trip to this upscale soul-food restaurant downtown. not just because of all of the great memories -- savoring the goodness with my family; dining with ben after we came into a bit of cash; my parents meeting don shane, the local abc sportscaster, whom my dad thanked for coming into our home every evening. not just because this means that classie, my family's favorite waitress there (who remembered us every time, even though it was usually years between visits), is most likely out of a job. but also because, in my mind, this is a sign of just how dire detroit's economic situation is right now.
two of my five favorite restaurants at home have now shut down. granted, the other one closed because of criminal activity and not because of the economy. but still -- it just makes home a little bit less sweet. | | |
| this week in politics: a new day.tuesday was something else, wasn't it?
and so it begins
- i watched the inauguration from jerry's famous(ly expensive) deli in westwood, which happens to be right next to my ucla lab. i took a table next to a bald, 30- or 40-something african american man, and we watched coverage on fox news, of all channels. (thankfully, they made no a-hole comments -- at least not during the ceremony -- though i suspect that they were significantly kinder about bush than the other networks were.) as soon as they announced obama and he entered the stage, the tears welled up. this brilliant, thoughtful, articulate, inclusive, diversity-embodying man was about to be our president. i could hardly stand it.
- i felt like rick warren was a strange mix of very evangelical and attempts to not seem very evangelical... which i guess was not as awful as it could have been, but it felt awkward and uncentered, perhaps b/c he was trying to catch everyone.
i think the tension that he must have felt, being a very popular evangelical pastor opening the official inauguration for a multi-faith country, reflects the tension inherent in our government around this issue. are we a christian nation or not? personally, i'd like to think that we aren't, given the plurality of faiths that are practiced here and the lack of an official state religion, not to mention the stance that the previous administration took on many issues. (the ex-prez claims he was guided by faith, but many of his decisions were decidedly not Christ-like, and i'd like to avoid slapping that label on them as much as possible.) but when upwards of 70% of citizens say that they're christian, we have yet to elect a president (or even have a major presidential candidate) who adheres to another faith, and we have an official morning worship, invocation, and benediction the day of the inauguration and a prayer service the morning after, who are we kidding? it's not an easy situation to navigate, and i think that warren's simultaneously inclusive and exclusive prayer reflected that.
(p.s. -- wondering where the "dr." in "dr. rick warren" came from? why, it came from fuller theological seminary.)
- aretha -- love that you're representing detroit and bloomfield hills, but that hat... that hat was a lot to handle. i doubt that neiman marcus will be inundated with requests for it, but props to you for being bold, i guess.
- LOVED the quartet playing the john williams piece. it was a little benetton ad of brilliance. i particularly liked yo-yo ma, who could not have looked happier to be playing his cello in the freezing cold, and the clarinet player. wind players don't have a lot of room for physical expression while they play aside from their eyebrows, and man, that guy was working his eyebrows. it was awesome.
- i spent much of the morning trying to figure out who the asian guy sitting behind obama was. turns out that it's his brother-in-law -- his sister, maya, married a chinese canadian man. speaking of which, the new york times had a great article on the diversity of the first family. we know about his kenyan father, his white mother from kansas, the white grandmother who raised him -- but there's also his sister, who is half asian; his brother-in-law, who is chinese canadian; michelle's brother, who is black and married to a white woman; one of her cousins, who converted to judaism and is now a rabbi. it's so diverse that it almost seems contrived -- but i really appreciate it, b/c it's not only a picture of what our country looks like but also of what our families are starting to look like too.
- the speech. oh, the speech. not as pithy and feel-good as the election night speech, but i so appreciated that it was real and honest while being inspirational and uplifting -- that's not an easy thing to do without sounding like you're delivering platitudes. i loved that he talked about caring for the poor and about caring for other countries -- that the concern is for the well-being of americans and for the well-being of the whole world. i'm not sure that i've ever heard a political speech with such a global feel. and interestingly enough, i feel like americans are more ready to swallow such ideas than ever before -- not just b/c of our globalized society but also b/c of the economic crisis. if nothing else, the crisis has illustrated how interconnected we (and our success) are, and i think obama capitalized on that moment really well.
i also liked the theme of responsibility -- of government to its citizens, and of citizens to the well-being of the nation. we now have a president that we (and the world) love, and it would be tempting to sit back and cast all responsibility on him to save us, but he's (wisely) chosen to emphasize that success depends not only on him but on everyone to contribute. and he's charismatic enough to convey such a message without making it feel like a drag. can you imagine -- civic participation and mutual responsibility as not only desirable but exciting? it's a new era, friends.
- did you see malia obama filming part of the speech on her camera? she's been seen taking pictures at a lot of events lately, and i like it. she's my kind of girl.
- it's entirely possible that i liked the benediction even more than the speech. lowery's presence itself would have been enough to be profound, but he was so eloquent on top of that, and i loved that he also talked about the poor and caring for the whole world. there's been some mild stink about the way that he ended the prayer, but dudes, give it up. take your energies and make me a mellow yellow t-shirt instead.
- after the ceremony was over, i introduced myself to the man at the table next to me and told him it was lovely watching the inauguration with him. he was at the same table when i walked by the deli this morning, and we waved -- my new history-sharing inauguration friend. it's funny -- except for that introduction, we didn't speak at all, but i'm going to remember this man for the rest of my life. whenever i think back on this inauguration, i will think of him and sunny-side up eggs with wheat toast and hash browns. we are forever connected.
the ball
- i liked the concept of the neighborhood inaugural ball -- open to the public (er, the public who could score tickets), aired on broadcast tv, putting the inclusivity piece into action. it was basically a giant concert, but those few moments with the obamas were priceless.
first, they looked so good. they're an attractive couple to begin with, but mr. president, you look fabulous in a white tie! michelle's dress was made by a young taiwanese american designer named jason wu, who didn't even know that the dress he made for her would be worn at the inauguration until he saw it on tv. a career made.
then there was the first thing obama said when he took the mic: "first of all... how good-looking is my wife?" and everyone cheered, and she smiled and clapped until she realized that he was talking about her, and then she got all embarrassed.
and THEN there was the dance. hot dang. "at last" is one of my favorite songs of all time (and one that accurately captures national sentiment), and beyonce has an incredible voice, but the way that barack looked at michelle the whole time... it was heart-wrenching. i cried more then than i did during the inauguration itself. i think part of the reason why everyone is so in love with them is b/c they're so clearly in love with each other, the kind of "in love" that you can't fake, especially not interview after interview. i love them.
and dang, brother can dance! so good that jamie foxx commented on it right after and joe biden had to give the disclaimer, before his first dance later in the evening, that he couldn't. he did fine, though. and jill biden -- what a little firecracker! loved the red coat during the day, the red dress at night. i didn't know she was a doctor, either -- apparently she has a doctorate in education and teaches english and composition at community colleges, where she feels like she can make the biggest difference. and she plans to continue teaching while she's second lady, which i deeply respect. i like the second couple, too. :)
- many props to the organizers for the all-star lineup -- alicia keys, beyonce, jay-z, denzel, leonardo dicaprio, stevie wonder.... (how is it possible that stevie wonder sounds just as good, if not better, than he did when i was 3 and "i just called to say i love you" was my dad's favorite song? amazing.) but negative eprops for shakira's performance -- what was that, really? -- and the anti-gravity routine. i have no idea what that was... and then the girls dropping from the ceiling in bungee cords at the end was even more bizarre. if you needed a dance/movement number, could you not have gotten jabbawockees instead? or, since your lineup was completely devoid of asians besides lucy liu, how about kaba modern? either act would have been infinitely more popular and interesting and would have required less equipment and setup.
the first two days
- i've been impressed with obama has started his administration. starting his first day by greeting people from the public in the blue room. how swiftly he's moved on some of his campaign promises -- signing executive orders yesterday to enforce government disclosure (something that will probably put the previous administration to shame, once their records are revealed), to freeze salaries of executive branch officials making over $100,000, and to restrict lobbying; ordering the close of guantanamo and secret prisons today. not bad, mr. pres. not bad.
- ray posted a link comparing the white house website when obama took office and when bush took office. it's an interesting commentary on the two administrations, i think -- one that's up with the times and gets it, and one that was quite the opposite.
images
- my friend phil sent me this sweet picture from the nation -- a rendition of the inauguration taking place before major civil rights leaders from all over the world. loved it.
- there were tons of incredible images from the inauguration, but the one that got me the most was one in the slideshow on the new york times homepage. i couldn't save the image and i can't find it anywhere now, but the caption read:
"bakary kamara, an immigrant from the west african nation of ghana, cried in new york after mr. obama was sworn in."
GAH. i'm a sucker for good pictures, but the pictures of immigrants during this election and inauguration are the ones that have hit me the most. maybe because that's such a huge part of my own story -- heck, the very essence of my story, b/c my parents wouldn't even have met if they hadn't immigrated here. but they came here b/c america was the land where they could do anything, where anything is possible. and our new president proves that. (gosh, i'm getting teary just thinking about it.) obama's inauguration embodies everything they came here for, and that's so overwhelmingly beautiful and profound that i can hardly grasp it.
i'm going to try to relish the next 4(-8) years as much as i can, b/c it's entirely possible that i will never be this excited about a president in the rest of my lifetime. when else will we have a president this cool or this smart? it's a time to savor. | | |
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